Don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment, it’s a competition none of us agreed to.

jaythenerdkid (via escapedgoat)

"it’s a competition none of us agreed to"  I want to give the author of this quote the hardest dap ever. 

(via syntheticallure)

(via brandontothelee)

239,686 notes

Do not leave me alone.

0 notes

annemarina:

ATTENTION: I need attention

(via aalyssanicolee)

122,002 notes

gaytrenchcoatangel:

actualucifer:

lumos5001:

skeletonflight:

AU The Fault In Our Stars where Hazel Grace succumbs to the cancer and dies and in the last scene all you see is Augustus standing out side with a cigarette between his lips and a hand slowly reaching up to light it.

HOW IS THIS ANY BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL ENDING!!!!

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your url really suits you actualucifer

(via zamzamzebra)

130,007 notes

thumbtackjuicyfruitspork:

You know when a fast angry song comes on that you know every word to and you’re in just the right mood that your eyes light up with the fire and angst of a thousand punk rockers and you just feel so alive

(via hzollars)

142,817 notes

sarahkeilman94:

i got paired with a super hot guy for a project in my criminal justice class and he just came up to me and said “oh my god you know what we are? we’re partners in crime! get it?” and then we both changed each others contact in our phone to “partner in crime” and now i kinda wanna marry him

(via zamzamzebra)

143,361 notes

the-rest-in-trumpets:

katswhiskers:

velvetonions:

imagine a milkshake place called “shakesperience” where all the milkshake flavours are named after puns of shakespeare plays

  • Oreothello
  • Rolo and Juliet
  • Macberry
  • Mars Ado About Nothing
  • Antonutella and Cleopatra
  • Merchocolate of Venice
  • Two Gentlemint of Verona
  • Richerry III

It would bringeth all the gentlemen to the yard. 

(Source: queerbiologist, via aalyssanicolee)

209,357 notes
So I got an idea

mildlyalice:

wereyoufullyawareofthisgaming:

duckscrymoo:

Let’s take this 

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and put it in 

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yes??? Nintendo, are you taking notes?

Real life. The concept you’re thinking of is going outside.

yeah ok buddy I’m just gonna step outside and go talk to my neighbour the talking cat. the fuck kind of real life are you living?

(via zamzamzebra)

91,525 notes

colesprouseofficial:

sorry! your password must contain at least seventeen roman numerals and the entire script of shrek the third

(Source: mermeme, via aalyssanicolee)

124,483 notes

fullmetalfisting:

Some women want to be house wives and some women want to be Harvard professors and some women want to be porn stars and some women want to be nuns and some women want to be surgeons and there is nothing wrong with anyone’s profession I am sick of people being rude to women about their professions oh my god

(via aalyssanicolee)

182,482 notes